Tagged life

Between fear and hope

Last summer I made this very personal painting,  which was born during the Vedic Art course and which I finished in August.

The painting consists pieces of an old painting on paper, roughly 100 by 100 cm, which depicted my dream  of at that moment in 2012 when I joined the first Vedic Art class. I longed for space and love. Loveing and accepting myself that is.

I took this painting, I teared it up in pieces and integrated it, together with sand, stones and dried flowers onto the canvas, this year even bigger than my work back then, 200 by 100cm. I used acrylic and different techniques. In the middle you can see my feet and hands, with my hands looking almost  like a the wings of a butterfly. What is it that they say? Happiness is in your own hands.

Looking at it, I can see my fears on one side and hope on the other, with me balancing in the middle. Sometimes crawling and sometimes flying toward my dream, my real Self.

DSC03788
Me, my fears and hope.
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Starting 2016 with a bold decision 


NYE @TheErasmusbrug Rotterdam.

I hope you all had a wonderful new Year’s Eve, surrounded by your loved ones. My sisters and I danced our way into 2016 after watching the fireworkshow on the Erasmusbrug.

Although 2015 was a productive year for me at my day-job, including several promotions within my departement, I took a very bold decision to quit my well-payed job at the end of February and pursue my life as a artist.

The reason for this radical change is the fact that, the last couple of months I was constantly beat and ¬†exhausted. I had no energy at all and every thing was felt like too much. As a result ¬†I haven’t been that productive as an artist, I even couldn’t see the oppurtunities I did have, all this made me lose contact with my autenthic Self.

After holding several motivationspeeches with myself why I should continue my job and how grateful I should be for having a job, for almost every day in December, it became clear to me that Life already lead me towards my path. I already saw a glimpse of this road from the corner of my eye for almost a year now. Filled with creations, ideas and oppurtunities but I didn’t really listen or dare to look. My fear and anxiety held me back, back from following the path, MY Path in my own time and rhytm.

Finally reality hit me, many sleepless nights have awoken me. There was nowhere else to go, nowhere to hide. It was like my heart made my body and head turn towards my adventures and slightly uncertain road, giving me courage and faith to step towards it, step by step and eventually my mind had no choice but to follow. Looking my fear in the eye made me realize that what I had to lose by not walking on and how much I would gain by stepping on.

I want to spent my time and energy on that what makes me truly happy and to put this positive and creating energy towards that what makes me feel fullfilled as a humanbeing.

After I made my decision and listened to my heart and  intuition, it all became clear to me. Now I feel truly in touch with myself, strong and full with creative energy!  Today I even created my bedroom into spacecious loft like room. As a matter of fact my desk now stands freely in the room, facing my balkonydoor and windows. How is that for broadening my horizons?! The only thing left to do is to buy some secondhand drawers to tidy the space up and to downsize; selling some furniture what only stands in the way and donate some of my clothes to the salvation army to create even more space.

In Spring I will

  • finish my new collection paintings
  • launch my new website
  • have a ‘Open House’ giving people the oppurtunity to meet me and see and buy my work

Offcourse you will be a part of my new but familiar choosen road. I will keep you posted and Thank you all for following me so far.

Fertility

I just finished Fertility! I started last night until 02:00 AM, had some sleep and started again at 08:00 AM. The first layer I applied with a roller at my Vedic Art course in June. The next layers are entirely painted by feet and hands. At night I just threw/dropped the primary colors on the canvas and just started walking around and around. Whilst walking in circles I suddenly started run, tramp, hop and toddle around. Slowly I could see the womb, and a figure.

In the morning I continued by tapping some paint by hand on the womb followed by carefully dropping the paint around the figure, and stamping around with my feet. At last I saw a female, with red hair, With much care I pounded the red paint around her shoulder, neck and head.

“Fertility” Acrylic on un-stretched canvas, 210*100cm.

More professional photographs are being posted  after the summer, for I am looking for a photographer.
For now: Have lovely Sunday!