After watching the trailer of Joker, the song “Smile” kept playing in my mind. Eventually it came out through my paintbrush like this.
Acrylic on paper, 60*50cm.
From I paint
Picked up that brush again
Hide and seek, 1st painting of 2016.
Nearly six weeks since my new years resolution to quit my job and I am on schedule. I turned my blog into a professional and a pleasure for the eye porfolio including all my projects and poems. Also I updated all my social media and made a Instagram account, settia_art.
After reading all kind of articles about how people quit there job and then have a fantastic and dazzeling life, some even travel the world or building there own thriving business, made me feel like I was doing something wrong. I mean when I made the decision to go a 100% for my artistic career no matter what, it was pretty bold and it gives me a lot of freedom, not to speak of great trust in myself and Life that all will be alright. But those articles sounded al that romantic, that is why I would like to point out my own situation:
- My savingsaccount is as I write under the 500 euro’s.
- I don’t have a partner, which basicly means; no safety-net or sharing livingcosts.
- I don’t have parents, a heritage from a aunt or even family for that matter.
So it is just me, my dreams, my faith in myself, my intuition. Offcourse my two sisters come to my aid when needed; they believe in me, give me mental support, share the costs for grocceries and the utilities, but they have there own lives with their own dreams. Which means I have to work really hard to persue my happiness and even more, to be persistent. Friends find me couragious for choosing this uncertain life, they don’t really understand why I would give up my job and try to have a income with my work as a artist. But then again, they choose to have a save and stable life filled with responsibilities, like childeren, mortgage, holidays.
My greatest, and perhaps only, responsibility in life is to be happy and to do what I was meant to be doing; creating art.
This weekend, even with a severe cold, I painted my first painting this year, Hide and seek made from acrylic, using hands, paletteknife and brush, and colorpencils, 70x50cm on canvas, which filled me with total bliss.
Between fear and hope
Last summer I made this very personal painting, which was born during the Vedic Art course and which I finished in August.
The painting consists pieces of an old painting on paper, roughly 100 by 100 cm, which depicted my dream of at that moment in 2012 when I joined the first Vedic Art class. I longed for space and love. Loveing and accepting myself that is.
I took this painting, I teared it up in pieces and integrated it, together with sand, stones and dried flowers onto the canvas, this year even bigger than my work back then, 200 by 100cm. I used acrylic and different techniques. In the middle you can see my feet and hands, with my hands looking almost like a the wings of a butterfly. What is it that they say? Happiness is in your own hands.
Looking at it, I can see my fears on one side and hope on the other, with me balancing in the middle. Sometimes crawling and sometimes flying toward my dream, my real Self.
