I paint – Page 2 – Settia Ramautarsing

From I paint

Hide and seek, 1st painting of 2016.

Nearly six weeks since my new years resolution to quit my job and I am on schedule. I turned my blog into a professional and a pleasure for the eye porfolio including all my projects and poems. Also I updated all my social media and made a Instagram account, settia_art.

After reading all kind of articles about how people quit there job and then have a fantastic and dazzeling life, some even travel the world or building there own thriving business, made me feel like I was doing something wrong. I mean when I made the decision to go a 100% for my artistic career no matter what, it was pretty bold and it gives me a lot of freedom, not to speak of great trust in myself and Life that all will be alright. But those articles sounded al that romantic, that is why I would like to point out my own situation:

My savingsaccount is as I write under the 500 euro’s.
I don’t have a partner, which basicly means; no safety-net or sharing livingcosts.
I don’t have parents, a heritage from a aunt or even family for that matter.

So it is just me, my dreams, my faith in myself, my intuition. Offcourse my two sisters come to my aid when needed; they believe in me, give me mental support, share the costs for grocceries and the utilities, but they have there own lives with their own dreams. Which means I have to work really hard to persue my happiness and even more, to be persistent. Friends find me couragious for choosing this uncertain life, they don’t really understand why I would give up my job and try to have a income with my work as a artist. But then again, they choose to have a save and stable life filled with responsibilities, like childeren, mortgage, holidays.

My greatest, and perhaps only, responsibility in life is to be happy and to do what I was meant to be doing; creating art.

This weekend, even with a severe cold, I painted my first painting this year, Hide and seek made from acrylic, using hands, paletteknife and brush, and colorpencils, 70x50cm on canvas, which filled me with total bliss.

Between fear and hope

Last summer I made this very personal painting, which was born during the Vedic Art course and which I finished in August.

The painting consists pieces of an old painting on paper, roughly 100 by 100 cm, which depicted my dream of at that moment in 2012 when I joined the first Vedic Art class. I longed for space and love. Loveing and accepting myself that is.

I took this painting, I teared it up in pieces and integrated it, together with sand, stones and dried flowers onto the canvas, this year even bigger than my work back then, 200 by 100cm. I used acrylic and different techniques. In the middle you can see my feet and hands, with my hands looking almost like a the wings of a butterfly. What is it that they say? Happiness is in your own hands.

Looking at it, I can see my fears on one side and hope on the other, with me balancing in the middle. Sometimes crawling and sometimes flying toward my dream, my real Self.

“In transition”

Today I turned a old painting of mine into a new one. It seems like there is a pattern going on.

Me finding old paintings, painted years ago and turning them into something new. Everytime the result seems a suprise, but then again it was already there, like a flower bud slowly opening and showing her beauty.

Perhaps this is the reflection of my very own life path, I am in transition.

Transition, acrylic on paper, 50*70cm.

Before:

After:

The luscious outcome after a mindful week.

I got two weeks off again and the first one was a week full with relaxation and exploration.
Because I went to Corfu not even two months ago, I decided to stay this holiday at home and do absolutly nothing. Just wake up and see what the day brings, the ultimate luxury.

It worked out rather wonderful and full with pleasant suprises.

I started my day with medidating. This was not as easy as a couple of months ago. Silence and concentration is hard to find nowadays, with so much stimuli in my life. My full time day job considers helping very demanding and often negative customers, 7hours behind the computer with a headset on.

As a result of this, the last months my energy level sank down, followed by doing things which cost no energy; watching series on the telly and eating more than nessecary. But even to sit down and trying to hear that inner voice again makes me feel peaceful, a little healed and energetic!

Throughout the week I colored a lot of mandala’s and it actually helped me to get more patience and to stay in the moment.

You see mandala colouring with a colorpencil was a bit of a nightmare for me. I like the volume of paint, you can use a lot of it, can make big strokes and even throw it on te canvas. Fiddeling with a tiny wooden stick did not seem worth it.

But there I am fiddeling and even enyoing myself!

Thursday evening I found myself taking part of another more horrifying challenge, try to sing a musical note. I can’t sing and it seems that I am absolute tonedeaf which is a bit odd because I have a good feeling for rythem and melody.

But nevertheless, I signed up for two lessons of ‘Discover your voice’, a three day course by Asmara. This course helps you to find your own voice by learning about melody, tone and sound. It was great and I suprised myself and my sisters with signing a line! I am looking forward to next week.

On Friday my afternoon turned out as another little adventure. I had a 90 min massage at Qoqo, but because I arrived there a hour early at the appointment (misread the clock), I went out walking in the neighbourhood and ended up at Adem Inn, a coffeeplace where phones are abandoned.

The place is like a cosy livingroom and separated by a glas wall there is the silence area, with comfortable chairs, a boat filled with chusions and little holes in the wall where you can cuddle up with a good book and there are plenty of those to chose from. There even is a table with, guess what… Mandala colouring pages! So within a half hour i colored a rather sweet one filled with flowers, while enjoying my green tea.

All this living in the moment and trying new things made me feel very content and at eas. From this State of mind I started Wednesday with painting. Not creating a piece of art but therapheutic painting.

But the result on friday is just fantastic and says it all.

This was a old painting, first painted in 2011 and from that time on every year I painted it over, keeping some elements and changing others.

The flowers are the only object, although it has had many transformations, which remain from the second painting session. The plant, the colors and the different textures are all made this week. Lush, vibrant and colorful that is how I feel, after this wonderful week.