Nearly six weeks since my new years resolution to quit my job and I am on schedule. I turned my blog into a professional and a pleasure for the eye porfolio including all my projects and poems. Also I updated all my social media and made a Instagram account, settia_art.
After reading all kind of articles about how people quit there job and then have a fantastic and dazzeling life, some even travel the world or building there own thriving business, made me feel like I was doing something wrong. I mean when I made the decision to go a 100% for my artistic career no matter what, it was pretty bold and it gives me a lot of freedom, not to speak of great trust in myself and Life that all will be alright. But those articles sounded al that romantic, that is why I would like to point out my own situation:
- My savingsaccount is as I write under the 500 euro’s.
- I don’t have a partner, which basicly means; no safety-net or sharing livingcosts.
- I don’t have parents, a heritage from a aunt or even family for that matter.
So it is just me, my dreams, my faith in myself, my intuition. Offcourse my two sisters come to my aid when needed; they believe in me, give me mental support, share the costs for grocceries and the utilities, but they have there own lives with their own dreams. Which means I have to work really hard to persue my happiness and even more, to be persistent. Friends find me couragious for choosing this uncertain life, they don’t really understand why I would give up my job and try to have a income with my work as a artist. But then again, they choose to have a save and stable life filled with responsibilities, like childeren, mortgage, holidays.
My greatest, and perhaps only, responsibility in life is to be happy and to do what I was meant to be doing; creating art.
This weekend, even with a severe cold, I painted my first painting this year, Hide and seek made from acrylic, using hands, paletteknife and brush, and colorpencils, 70x50cm on canvas, which filled me with total bliss.
Last summer I made this very personal painting, which was born during the Vedic Art course and which I finished in August.
The painting consists pieces of an old painting on paper, roughly 100 by 100 cm, which depicted my dream of at that moment in 2012 when I joined the first Vedic Art class. I longed for space and love. Loveing and accepting myself that is.
I took this painting, I teared it up in pieces and integrated it, together with sand, stones and dried flowers onto the canvas, this year even bigger than my work back then, 200 by 100cm. I used acrylic and different techniques. In the middle you can see my feet and hands, with my hands looking almost like a the wings of a butterfly. What is it that they say? Happiness is in your own hands.
Looking at it, I can see my fears on one side and hope on the other, with me balancing in the middle. Sometimes crawling and sometimes flying toward my dream, my real Self.
Today I turned a old painting of mine into a new one. It seems like there is a pattern going on.
Me finding old paintings, painted years ago and turning them into something new. Everytime the result seems a suprise, but then again it was already there, like a flower bud slowly opening and showing her beauty.
Perhaps this is the reflection of my very own life path, I am in transition.
Transition, acrylic on paper, 50*70cm.