So it has been a while, four months now I believe, since my last post. A lot happened in those four months; I stopped working due burn-out and mild depression issues and I stopped pursuing my career as an artist.
This was hard to accept, I kept on comparing myself with others who have jobs, families, hobbies and so on; ‘why can’t I have a day job and at the same time have my own dream business, why this, why that’. It felt like I failed. Well it seems I am not them and although I love painting and creating, making a living from it, doesn’t work for me and I certainly did not enjoy making art a business. So I deleted my Saatchi art shop, updated the pages of my blog and ceased my business, notifying the chamber of commerce.
Now I am recovering, taking a day, a moment at the time. Once I fully accepted myself, my limits and my abilities, everything falls in place and I am being more nice to myself. My sisters are so kind to me after my second period of illness in a relativly short time, first fall out was in 2011-2013, they support me in my health and tell me to stay true to myself. They just want the best for me, as for my closest friend they too have been kind.
It is not clear yet what I will do or what kind of job fits me. In the following months I will team up with a coach to find my life path again after this detour which was valuable and informative. It was due to my last job at the customer care center where I also trained new colleagues, that I discovered that I love and enjoy teaching people, and as a bonus it seems I am good at it! So who knows what the future might bring.
I still paint full of joy, whenever my energy level allows it, there is no more “I have to, I must”. Just doing what I love, my hobby and passion: creating.
This is my latest work, finished yesterday: Summerwine. Acrylic on paper, 70x50cm.